You know, I just can’t be trusted. Months ago I started the Who I want to Be series. The idea was, that I would work harder on being who I want to be, and share that journey with you. The three main things that I wanted to focus on were:
Share The Journey
In addition to these 3 I want to be an overall better person. More kind, more compassionate and less stressed. Well, that was at the end of July, its time for my 90 day check up. How have I done?
Share the Journey
First off, I’ve been slacking on the “sharing” part of the journey. The past few weeks have sort of slipped through my fingers, and I have been struggling to keep up. I have been very, very busy at work. (Christmas is kind of our “thing”) And also very busy at home. (It it just me or does EVERY WEEKEND Oct-December get booked up?) So, as I diligently work to keep posting what I consider to be my most “important” posts like Sweet Sharing Monday and the weekly craft post, I’ve let Wanna Be Wednesday fall by the wayside. Hey, somethings got to give right? Except, the sharing is a huge component of this journey for me. Its the sharing that makes me introspective, helps me reflect on what is and is not working. Heck, writing the posts to share with you are some of the most enlightening moments I have! So on this point I give myself: C+
Be healthier. Yeah… about that. I’ll face the music. When I came into this, I specifically wanted to eat better. I wanted to stop over eating, and eating unhealthy things. I wanted to tone down the sweets and get back to counting calories. I wanted to lose a couple pounds too. Has that happened? Not really. Owing to the stress at work, I’ve been eating a lot more sweets. I’m still doing really well on calories for breakfast and lunch, but snacks, dinner and dessert put me over my calorie goals every day. I haven’t lost any weight but I haven’t gained either. So, I’d get a pretty low grade if I only considered the food part.
But I HAVE been using healthier things. Since June I have replaced my face wash, face toner, face moisturizer, lipgloss, hand lotion, and blush with ALL NATURAL and HAND MADE products. What’s more, they are Hand made by me! I’m become increasingly interested and concerned with the chemicals I’ve been using every day. Also, making stuff like that turns out to be pretty darn easy and SUPER fun! So, with the pros of the natural products and the cons of not eating well, I give myself : B+
I also wanted to exercise more. There’s nothing to say here but I didn’t. I haven’t. Not even twice. Not really walking any more than normal, not doing any sort of work out routine. For a while there I did do the stretches I mentioned in the first “Who I Want To Be” post, and then the pain I was having went away. I stopped stretching then, and I haven’t looked back. My grade: D
Finally- the OCD issue. This one is harder to quantify I think that making all of the natural face products was a great way for me to channel the energy that I used to put into picking my face. Overall though, looking back at years of doing this, I can’t say I’m better now than I was then. That is to say… I’m not comfortable saying that. Sure, I still do the picking, but not as bad. And, I don’t carry the guilt as heavily. Specifically in the past 3 months I’ve glimpsed insights into some pretty deep reasons why I do it. I’ve also been able to focus on thinking of it as “something I’ve done.” instead of some innate thing that is a part of who I am.” Because its not. Its something I do, and something I will eventually not do. So, progress for this is inevitably slow, and I’m grading it on a curve. Lets go with: B. (for effort/ introspection more than anything)
Well, that’s not too bad is it? Honestly, when I sat down to write this, I expected Ds across the board. But sitting here, reflecting, I think I’ve truly done quite well. The changes I’ve made might not be the ones I set out to make. But the goals I was reaching for are still nearer. Progress is progress and I can’t deny I HAVE come pretty far.
Thank you for spending the past 3 months with me. I hope you’ll stick around.