Hey everyone, its Wednesday again. The day I reflect on my journey towards Who I Want to Be. This week I have the distinct pleasure of introducing Bethany from Sprinkles and Allergies to you all. Bethany and I went to High School together. To be honest, we were each different people back then and we weren’t truly friends. Through the magic of Facebook, however, I was able to catch a glimpse into her struggles with diagnosis and treatment for her variety of intolerances/allergies. When she started her blog, I knew we were kindred spirits.
When I received Bethany’s guest post in my inbox and read it, I was blown away. At the time I was feeling down about myself, my life, the state of my house, my eating habits, my face… you name it. But reading Bethany’s version of “Who I Want to Be” really put things in perspective for me. I once heard it said that if we all threw our problems in a pile, to be mixed with everyone else’s and redistributed- that we would each hope to get our own again.
Bethany’s wisdom has reminded me that we each carry a burden, and that it is suited to us. As we work to get beyond it, we become different, better people. I hope to remember that through the rest of my journey.
Guest Post by Bethany from Sprinkles and Allergies
I’ve been inspired by Kayla to get real on the web and let loose a little. Since being diagnosed with Celiac disease 3 and a half years ago, I’ve been on a “journey” of sorts. The diagnosis shook my world hard in a bittersweet way. Basically overnight, I went from eating anything freely to being unable eat about half the food in America without getting violently ill. The upside? I finally learned to live for what felt like the first time. I had been living in a fog most of my youth due to being undiagnosed for 20 years (since age one). After I’d gotten the hang of living happily and healthily gluten-free, another diagnosis rocked the boat. And by rocked the boat, I mean it almost killed me in the process. I was in and out of the emergency room four times in one month, due to anaphylactic shock. Anaphylaxis is a life threatening allergic reaction, usually due to food allergies. The ER doctors couldn’t figure out what I was allergic to and I was on a downward spiral of anxiety. I now know I’m highly allergic to soy, peanuts, and ALL legumes, which includes 30+ varieties of beans, peas, and lentils. The healing began again. And I need to be honest; it’s on ongoing process.
I’ve always been headstrong and fairly independent, which means I like to hide a lot of the problems I deal with. I don’t like to show my weaknesses to others and try to put on a superwoman persona. I’m definitely guilty of doing that on my website, so it’s time to come clean. I’ve got lots of problems, but here’s the heart of them right now:
1) Diligence vs. Obsession:
Being allergic to so many foods, I am usually surrounded by food that I can’t eat or touch. I look at myself as being diligent with keeping things clean and free of crumbs, but when I look harder, I realize I’m dancing on the border of obsession. The anxiety I felt straight after my soy allergy diagnosis rears its ugly head on a daily basis. If I see a foreign crumb roaming around my tablecloth, I freak out in my head until a mere crumb has taken control and suddenly has power over me.
2) Practicing what I Preach:
I’m a self-proclaimed wellness enthusiast. On my website, I talk about living a full life with food allergies and health issues while discussing how to make the best of what you’re given. Sometimes, I fail to take my own advice. When I slip up by feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in why I wasn’t diagnosed sooner and why I have a lifelong disease, I take unnecessary steps backwards in my healing process.
3) Body Image:
I’ve almost always been underweight as far back as I can remember. I now know this is attributed to my digestive system being stripped of its ability to properly absorb nutrients because of undiagnosed food allergies and Celiac. Even after cutting out the offending foods from my diet, I struggle to maintain a healthy weight. I eat regularly, but just still seem to have trouble putting on weight. A lot of people, even strangers, comment on my weight in a negative light and tell me to “go eat a sandwich”. If only I could. I often look at people who have a healthy or even slightly overweight body and wonder why I don’t look like them. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a while.
Writing this isn’t only being honest to the world, it’s more importantly being honest to myself. I need to give myself more credit and realize the things I’ve overcome. I need to realize I AM healthy, that a crumb isn’t going to magically jump off the table and into my mouth, and that being skinny doesn’t make me any less beautiful. I’ve cheated death more than a few times by staying strong and determined through anaphylaxis, so what’s the big deal about changing bad habits? I’m going to start admitting when I need help, but also realizing that my food allergies do affect those I live with and those who care for me. I need to give those people more credit too. I’m going to start tracking my wellbeing on Livestrong.com (also inspired by Kayla!) and learn to love my body no matter what it’s going through. My body is a temple for my spirit; my gateway to God and eternal life. If I keep my mind and spirit healthy, my body will follow suit. I’m renewing a promise I made to myself and creating a new positive affirmation:
I will not feel sorry about the obstacles in my path. I will see them as blessings and catalysts of positive growth. Each day is a new opportunity to embrace my vibrant, healthy, and living self. I am calm, clear, and in control of my life and my attitude. This is who I want to be.
So here are my clear goals:
- Give myself a mental and physical break. When I start to obsess over being surrounded by food I can’t eat, I will list in my head all my favorite foods that I can eat—and then go cook up a storm! This will help transition the negative thought into a positive (and tasty) action.
- Have a laugh at the past and the obstacles I’ve overcome. I’m going to banish being overly serious about life, body image, and negative sorrowing by getting out more into God’s gorgeous world. I tend to shut myself in too much when I get negative and nature will be my remedy. I have 3 beautiful gardens and I need to let them keep me grounded and thankful for all that is.
Thanks Kayla for letting me guest post here. You’re inspiring and a beautiful soul.
-Bethany
I am so lucky to have a person like Bethany in my sphere of influences. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with me, and with others. YOU are the inspiration. I made this little image for you, I hope you like it =D
Kayla Domeyer
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What an inspiring post! My daughter was diagnosed with Celiac 6 weeks ago. I’m headed to visit Bethany’s site. (Thanks, Kayla, for telling me about her.)
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Thanx kayla for having an inspirational guest posting, and thanx bethany for sharing your amazing journey.. im lactose and fructose intolerant and was wrongly diagnosed for celiac disease . I was on a lactose, fructose and gluten diet and boy was it hard! I was on a gluten diet for 2 years and then to find out i wasnt gluten intolerant 🙁 although it was hard and fustrating at the time im happy i was wrongly diagnosed coz it made me appreciate all things i was able to eat.. people constantly tell me that im too skinny and when i tell them i have a list of food intolerance they would ask what can u eat :p which was a question i use to ask myself all the time.. now i look at the things i can eat and not what i cant 🙂 there are people all over the world that are worse off then us so i guess we need to see the positive side of our intolerance.. your not alone Bethany! Thanx again for sharing 🙂
Thank you, Kayla, for posting Bethany on your blog. Bethany is my wife Dianne’s niece and a truly beautiful person inside and out. Her normal reaction to others’ conversations or even a greeting is a beaming, affirming smile. Beth – your guest post is a reflection of your genuine love of life and honest, candid self-reflection. It will go far to inspire others to face their own limitations with positive responses and hopeful outlooks. God bless you.